IT WAS ALL A DREAM

"But when I finally drew enough courage to send you all the love in the world, my hand snapped off in the mailbox from clenching. It was returned to me with a gospel stitch, a hope stamp, and a note etched into the palm I had to pry open with the pressure of pitching doves reminding me: we agreed to let each other go."

- Buddy Wakefield

"I want to make love to you while you’re wearing figure skates
until the hardwood floors are toothpicks
I want to kiss your throat in a dressing room with my hands
bound around the slow song in your voice"

- “Cotton in the Air” Derrick C. Brown

The Return of Christ

Trying to let go of you
Is like trying to spit out my teeth
before the dashboard
roars into my throat

Something lonely in the air has over-ripened the fruit.

I want her to return to me tonight, to my ship,
but I don’t wanna do anything different in my life.
I don’t want to be a fresh lure.

I want her to be warm, here, arms full of cake,
still shaped like a broken white viola.

Some piano is being beaten to death outside.
That’s my kind of music.
That’s the night music the kids are all choking on.
I close the hatches of my boat.

It’s so still in here, I can’t write anything
but the songs of divers,
falling into something very quiet.
The more I sit here and eat this poem,
the more my clothes don’t fit.
The more my spaghetti brains and stubborn bruises show.
I need a drink.

All booze is just a sleeping pill now. 
I close my eyes. Love
You taste like someone waving.

Sometimes living is a Swiss Bliss
and sometimes it’s a rotten popsicle.
the difference between bad living and bad loving
is a slipped keystroke.
the return key is big and easy,
not as easy as the space key.

I can imagine people here with me.
they speak in the creaking of aluminum masts.
Comes and goes in waves.

I tell them I do want her to return. They ask:
Do I have the gear to make that happen?

If christians can wait this long for their savior to return
on an unknown open-ended invite of prose,
I can wait a few years for my beautiful want
to soar from some black ship, no longer adorning the bow
in gold paint and oak,
penetrating the coastal showgirls with her harbor light.

The night turns to straight coffee.
Channel 16 is for distress signals only
and I listen all night.
I wonder if I will hear the voices again
while staring at something shiny
sinking in the water. 

Armstrong

The night the moon cracked open
A voice came from within.

The moon turned to the astronaut
and said to him
‘Please stay. Please stay.’

The astronaut looked
back at the moon

said “I’d love to stay
but I can’t stay with you

I am sorry to report

that I must leave.

For when I’m here

with you

I cannot breathe.”  - Derrick Brown

"I loved her with all my heart
I loved her with all of everyone’s heart.
I won’t love you forever Margaret
But I will love you with all my weird might
For as long as the day will allow.
Everything is supposed to die
It doesn’t frighten me now"

- Derrick Brown

"I can’t fake happiness
Happiness and pure joy are for
people who can dance sober"

- Derrick Brown

"Stop ruining love by wanting it so bad"

- Derrick Brown

"I will remember your small room, the feel of you, the light in the window, your records, your books, our morning coffee, our noons, our nights, our bodies spilled together, sleeping, the tiny flowing currents, immediate and forever. Your leg, my leg, your arm, my arm, your smile and the warmth of you who made me laugh again."

- Charles Bukowksi  (via hip-)

(via nowlivingsnogood)